Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Passing a Psychological Test for Employment

Due to this economy, it is getting more and more difficult to find a job. Those prospective employees that are fortunate enough to make it to the interview process are screened much more thoroughly than they were a few years ago.

One of the tools an employer uses to screen applicants is a psychological test. I had an interview today for a low paying call center job and had to take one of these ridiculous tests. I was at the company for two and a half hours. Over two hours were spent taking tests and filling out forms, and less than half an hour was spent actually interviewing. You'd think I was trying to get into the FBI or something. What's next, are people wanting a job at McDonalds going to have to take a polygraph?

One of the test questions I was asked was "Have you been possessed by demons?" I am not making this up! I'm going to post some other questions that I was asked. That way when you apply for a job, you'll know what to expect when you take one of these retarded tests. I will also give my opinion on how the employer will interpret your answer.

"Have you ever stolen something?"

Pretty much everyone has stolen something in their life. I would say that answering yes to this question would give you a better chance of employment than answering no. If you answer no, the employer will think you're lying.

"Does it bother you to see animals suffer?"

I would say answering yes to that question would be the safest bet. Unless of course, you're applying for a job at a slaughterhouse.

"Have you been possessed by demons?"

If you answer yes to this question, the employer will think you're a lunatic and not hire you. I don't think that's right. If you tell the employer that you were possessed by demons, this is what you are actually telling them:

"I don't want this crappy job!!!"

John Griggs

http://www.johngriggscomedy.com/

3 comments:

  1. I would have answered the demon queston "have you ever been smacked for asking stupid questions?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. I recently took a psychological test in which all of the answers to select were very negative and none of them applied to me. I even had dictionary.com up to see if there were any positive definitions to some of these negative answers and there weren't any. I started to quit, but went ahead and finished knowing that none of the negative answers fit me. How do you get hired if all answers to the questions are negative and do not apply to you?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous: What they make you go through to get a crappy job is totally ridiculous. Before I took the the psych test back in June they said there was no "wrong" answers. I say bullsh*t!

    I also remember in the psychological test I took, there were certain questions where any way you answered put you in a negative light. How do you get hired in this situation? I don't have a direct answer for that. I've heard that a lot of people have done better at these kind of tests by giving random answers rather than answering truthfully.

    This what I suggest to all of you: Write a book, perform stand up comedy, start a blog, start your own company, or do ANYTHING to make money so that you eventually don't have to apply to these stupid companies that make you go through so much crap to get hired. Now that we are in a recession, companies think it's ok to treat their employees like garbage, pay them crappy wages, and fire them for no good reason. It's not ok!!! It's time for us to stop taking their crap, and put these douchebags out of business.

    If you do start a company and hire people, don't make applicants go through these stupid tests, and treat your employees well once they are hired. Let's start a better new world for everyone!

    ReplyDelete

 
ss_blog_claim=2a9daa70be54425b70f4c671aec4ad6c